Saturday, July 01, 2006


I am... so... very... tired. I just want to sleep and be back at my old apartment. I had a huge stress attack (I guess) last night around 10pm driving all this stuff to my parents' place, and I couldn't figure out why. Then I realized... until I had given up my apartment, plans for China were still relatively idealistic and didn't feel "real" to me. Now they're moving ahead and there's no looking back. That kind of scares me. Okay... not 'kinda'. It scares the shit out of me. I get my Chinese tourist visa on Tuesday.

So much has happened in the last 10 days; I'm still trying to make sense of everything and not burst into tears for a multitude of reasons. I'm back into Ottawa tomorrow and staying with Mr. Evileddy - woot! Like old times.

At the moment, I feel cast adrift, as though I'm existing in Limbo simply because there's no room for me yet in any other useful plane of existence. Now that everything is stored up at my parents' place, I feel better, but not much. I keep wondering if there are other things that I should be packing for China. I still have a few small things yet to get. Looking at airline ticket prices now... the cheapest I can find is $1700 (out of Ottawa). That doesn't seem horrible, but I'd like to get that down to near $1400.

Meh. Happy Canada Day, folks. Drink one for me.

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