Normally I'm not one to [overtly] laugh at the misfortunes of others. But in this case, the unfortunate soul happens to be a friend and former co-worker, and his predicament is not your average-day whoopsie. In fact, had I not seen his email plus the journalist's editorial copy, plus the final story... I'd not believe it.
I almost died of shock and laughter, or shocked laughter, perhaps. Check this out:
While there were 10 fatalities throughout the Midwest (mostly in Missouri) no deaths were reported in Illinois. There was, however, one close call.
James Ford, an out-of-towner living in Springfield while on contract with the state agency, Central Management Systems (CMS), was in his 14th floor apartment when the storm began on Sunday evening.
When Ford noticed that the large window overlooking his balcony was bowing considerably from the pressure of the high winds, he opened the window and a tremendous vacuum created by the wind engulfed the room and pulled him outside. "It literally sucked me out of the apartment," he said.
Ford survived by grabbing the balcony railing pulling himself back into his apartment.
"The few seconds on that balcony was something else, let me tell you," Ford said.
This is the article itself.
Now, the story behind the story: James was wearing headphones and playing video games. He failed to hear/recognize the tornado sirens. Is that, or is that not, fucking insane? My vote: fucking insane for $500, Alex.