Phoenix Garden Restaurant

First thing... I didn't go to Tianjin. Not a change of heart, but sleep got the better of me and I slept in til around 10 or 10:30 yesterday, which made it a bit late to get ready and go. I would not have gotten to Tianjin until 1pm, and only having 4 hours was not what I had in mind. So I'll go to Tianjin and Panshan (a little mountain with paths and some temples 120 kms north of Tianjin) in two weeks, after the last week of insano Winter period.

The supper for my TB 3As did, however, go ahead as planned. Only 4 of the 7 showed. We weren't able to get through to two, and one couldn't make it, which was too bad. We still had a pretty good time.

First we tried to go to Xinhua restaurant, which is a revolving restaurant near the school. No luck... they were only accepting people with reservations. This was a good thing, though. We divided and in two cabs headed to a great place called Feng Huang Yuan (Phoenix Garden something), a really nice restaurant near where Alistair and I live. That worked out perfectly. While they were busy, there were still a few empty tables.

One thing that really threw the students off was Lily's presence. Betty was my assistant for the kids when they were TB 2B and the students knew her well, but she said she'd be out of town all this week and when the supper idea had originally been floated wouldn't be able to make it. I invited Lily with whom I get along really well, wanting to have someone else to talk to and to translate if/when needed. It was awesome having her there, but the girls were a little weird about it. As soon as she showed up outside the school, they pulled away from where we (them and I) had been standing and closed off in their own circle. They warmed a bit once we got to the restaurant, but there was clearly something odd about the whole thing for a while. I don't want to jump to the conclusion that there was some territoriality going on, but hey... they're 12 year old girls.

Anyhoo... we had a good meal, and talked for a bit. It was great for the girls since being able to socialize outside of school is generally bu ke nan (impossible) since they're so busy 99% of the time. They had fun, and I chatted with Lily, mostly. Most of my attempts to start conversations with my students met with short replies and awkwardness. I think the change of environment was jarring for them, and I don't think they really expected me to go through with taking them for supper. A lot of things here are said but never done. We had gong bao ji ding (which made them laugh as they know that I love it), an awesome eggplant dish (best dish in Tangshan, I think), a spicy seafood congee (I think?), green beans with duck egg batter, chicken wings (which surprised me) and egg/seafood 'cake'. The egg was steamed and somewhat custard-like, with seafood on top. It was quite good. I was worried the sloppy texture would deter me. I've been wary of sloppy foods since the chilled tofu, chives and ant-sized prawns dish I had a few months ago... it was just nasty. Like slurping curdled milk with dead insects in it for crunch value.

Headed back to ke ji guan (the museum) and waited for the kids to be picked up, then with Lily walked Jenny back home, then headed home myself. It was a nice night and good to get out. Prior to supper, I also managed to do some planning/organizing for this weekend. When I left work last Friday, I had just dumped everything so my desk looked like a whirlwind of materials, baskets, worksheets and coursebooks. It's somewhat sorted now. I really don't feel like returning to work this weekend, though. I've been in braindead mode for what feels like forever, and have been thoroughly enjoying this wondrous respite. But all good things come to an end... bring on the kidlets. March and the end of my contract is right around the corner.

Oh, two of the girls each gave me a present, which was really sweet. One was a book of Chinese paper-cut (cutting?) which I don't fully understand. It's a 1500-year-old art form... kind of like silhouetting. Ah, here's a link. The other was a glass decoration, which looks cool but would likely be better suited for a young girl. It has a flower bow on the bottle part, and these paper stars inside it with lots of glittery... stuff. Very nice of them, anyway.

On another note... I've lost even more weight, it seems. I'm down to 72 kgs (158 lbs)... with clothes and jacket on. I need a new hole or two punched in my belt. This is getting a little ridiculous and I'm wondering if I haven't picked up some sort of symbiotic parasite that is sharing my intake of sustenance. And I'm not even gleaning any super powers from it. What a gyp.

Room to Breathe

Made it through the week. This afternoon was a bit brutal, but I wrote 'Topics' on the board before going for an early 10-minute break. Just said "Anything you want to talk about, write on here. If you don't write anything, you're stuck with my ideas." They put a few things, so we discussed those for the next two hours, and that worked well. Just glad it's over. Played hacky-sack with Lily and little Angel for an hour and a half afterwards to wind down. Now seven days of zero obligation to look forward to.

Found a really cool artist - Dave Allsop - purely by fluke. (image on the left is one of his) Check 'em out if you're into twisted and interesting works. I like his characters page. Reminds me of a perversion of the stuff 'Labyrinth' concept designer Brian Froud did. (Be wary of the "Dark Stuff" link in there... it truly is a pageant of the grotesque and warped, which can be good or bad depending on your preferences...)

I've got some pictures from Thursday night's mixed classes activity up on Flickr. The students had a decent time. It was a combination of the Conversation B and C classes, plus my EF 5s. About 26 of them total. We played an international trade game, and they had a blast using the negotiation language we'd (myself and Andrew) had taught them earlier this week. I hosted it, and Andrew and Michelle played the traders.

Beijing Meet-Up

Had a good time in Beijing on Sunday night. It was a relief to get out of Tangshan for a few hours. I was a little late finishing up at the school, but had my bag and such with me, so getting to the train station wasn't a drawn-out affair. Getting a taxi, though, was tough. I got onto the second-to-last bus, which was full, but that was a positive: it left within two minutes. I sat on what I can only describe as a flight attendant's seat. It came out from part of the partition behind the driver, so I was sitting in the aisle. I spent the 1h40m trip floating between sleep and craning my head upwards to watch The Island in Chinese, and trying to keep my arse from atrophying.

Got to Beijing without issue, and likewise checked into the Central Beijing Youth Hostel near the south train station. The weather was fantastic, and the air was pretty clear and cool, but not chilly. Almost no wind. I got in earlier than I'd expected, gave Jon a shout from my room, then started walking. Had I been smart, I'd have taken the subway to Wangfujing, then walked, but I didn't think that the hotel would be north of the pedestrian section of that street. Wo san bu gua. (I went for a stroll.) It took about 35 minutes, but it was quite nice. Met up with Jon at the Crowne Plaza Hotel, and we caught a cab to Houhai.

Houhai is kind of a hutong surrounding a lake - old alleyways with quiet bars and stores. I found it a lot more relaxed and comfortable than Sanlitun district. It seemed almost detached, in a way. It's its own little niche in Beijing. Alistair had recommended the Lotus Blue, so we wandered along the lakeside promenade to find it. Most of the bars, being on the left (west) of the promenade had booths and such right up against the waterside. While it wasn't cold, it certainly wasn't warm, so we stuck with the indoors. Found the Lotus Blue no problem, after a few people bugging us about "lady bars". The Lotus Blue was quite busy, but we took a high table, then switched to a more comfortable spot within a pretty short time.

Had a great time just relaxing and chatting with Jon. We got along quite well, I'd say. We talked about our respective works, China, Australia, books, movies, culture, language... lots o' stuff. There was a live band while we were there and they were playing Chinese fusion - a bit of a mixture of traditional Chinese music with modern sound. It was a nice backdrop for beer and conversation. I found it very easy to disassociate myself with that week of teaching, and put emotional distance between myself and this week, which was just what I needed. An eye of the storm, per se.

We got there around 10pm and stayed til 1:30am. By the time we left, everyone else had gone home, including half the bar staff. On the way out, we also got re-pestered by the "lady bar" peddlers. Got back to the hostel without issue, though the damn taxi-driver charged us for Jon's trip and then charged me for what he saw as a separate trip. Meh... whatever. We didn't spend much, really, and I was too tired and inept in Chinese to put up much of an argument. I asked why, swore mildly, contemplated calling him a bitch, and settled for just grunting and waving my indifference.

I managed a few hours' sleep, woke up late at 10:10am, raced to check out and meet up with Jon in front of the Wangfujing Bookstore. I was 15 minutes' late. He'd been up and about since 8, wanting to see Mao's Mausoleum (not open on Mondays, we found out) and the Foreign Legation. So he had a chance to see a few things that day, at least. We checked out the bookstore. I grabbed a book on writing Chinese characters, a little book of Chinese proverbs ("100 Pearls of Chinese Wisdom"), and a lesson book. We then looked around in the DVD/music store next door, and I suggested "A World Without Thieves" and "The Banquet" which he got, and I grabbed "Police Story" (Jackie Chan) and Bruce Lee's "Fist of Fury".

Unfortunately, we ran out of time for lunch, so Jon went his way, and I headed for the train station to catch the Tangshan bus. Saw this ad on the subway platform and had to take a picture. Had no problems finding the bus and the ticket guy, and slept most of the way back to Tangshan. It was a nice "weekend", and it provided a much-needed rest.

Next week, I'm taking my TB 3A class for supper (confirmed) and heading to Tianjin. I've decided to say screw it in regards to going to Shanhaiguan. I'll take my camera for the supper, and Tianjin, so will have more photos to upload. I've been pretty lax with that lately.

Tangshan Explodes

Yup... Tangshan sounds like a warzone, and has since last night: AK-47s and mortar rounds. Today is like Christmas Eve here - a prelude to Spring Festival which is 18th of Feb. The sheer volume and number of rockets and firecrackers going off have car alarms screeching and blaring incessantly all over, at all times of the day/night. Am I ever looking forward to trying to sleep tonight.

Tomorrow night, I'm off to Beijing to meet Jon, a friend of Steve's. Should be fun. We're hooking up at 9:30pm, then heading to Dian'men street to check out a place called the Blue Lotus. I have it on good authority that it's a good place to grab a drink. The next morning, I'll then wander a bit and grab a DVD or two that I can't get here, and possibly some music. Might attempt to find another Chinese lesson book, but finding one is a pain in the arse. Oh, I definitely want to get Hong Lou Meng ("A Dream of Red Mansions"), a Chinese classic novel. Apparently one of the foreign bookstores on Wangfujing has a good translation. Need to remember that.

As for teaching... it's just madness. I'm barely keeping on top of my classes. For instance, I planned tomorrow morning's 9-11am class this evening, and from 11-2 tomorrow I'll be planning that afternoon's lessons. Tuesday's lessons will be done once I get back from Beijing on Monday afternoon. Weeee... I can't wait for next Friday, 8:05pm. 7 days off. There are no words to express the relief I will feel. Actually, I guess the word "beer" would sum it up rather well. I'm still planning to head to Tianjin on Monday and possibly go to Shanghaiguan on Tuesday. Definitely Tianjin, but not sure about Shanghaiguan. It's a ways to go to only do one or two things there. I'll see how I'm feeling after Tianjin. The good news is that I ought to have a few more pictures to upload after tomorrow evening and Monday.

I had a great experience last night, which made up for my 3-hour afternoon conversation class shite. I took over a High-Flyer 1A class from Nick when he left, and there's this girl, Sally, in it who never smiled. I observed 3 of Nick's lessons, and he even spoke to me about her, noting that she only ever smiled for the class photo. Well... I got her smiling on Friday, and quite frequently. It seems so small a thing but - and although this sounds horribly cheesy - seeing a kid smile just... I dunno. Makes things here seem immediately worthwhile and significant. Like I'm not some transient. I did a funny activity at the end of my Starter class today. Instead of just saying good-bye one at a time, once I'd said good-bye to the first student in line, I had her stand next to me. Then I said good-bye to the next, and she did also. Then that student came up and joined our farewell line, also. It was quite fun watching the line of good-bye givers grow and grow. They thought it was hilarious and it seemed to make them feel really happy saying bye to their classmates.

So the conversation class shite alluded to... they were just completely useless on Friday afternoon. On Thursday they were rocking, but yesterday... I had to fucking “cudgel" their brains. Unfortunately, as per the remainder of the Shakespeare quote, their dull asses did not mend their place with beating. It was like kicking dead horses around for 3 hours. I had 1/3 of the class involved, and the others couldn't be buggered to do anything except mess around on cellphones and chat in Chinese. I had to approach one of the chief instigators and say, "Do you like writing? No? Well, here are your choices: you can write me an essay on this topic, or you can discuss it like you ought to be doing." I later had to tell him in the middle of class to shut up.

I really do love my classes of younger students. My Early Learners have kind of gone downhill, though. Trying to keep the attention of 5 & 6 year olds is tough. Not even Noddy and his wonky buddies are much help. Then again, it doesn't help when you do one or two things repetitively for 3-4 weeks running. But my High-Flyer Starter class and the High-Flyer 1A classes are great. I've even reformed a shit-disturber in the 1A class, and a 5-year-old in my Starter class who couldn't write before is doing so now, in English and Chinese. (When they put new words into their dictionaries, they write both the English and Chinese. Parents love seeing vocab.) One thing that will drive me insane, however, are the songs. I'm bringing back a CD with the "Gray Cloud" song and "Nice and Small" and others so that my friends can be forced to endure what I've had to. The worst is walking to a class only to find yourself quietly singing "Look look look... it's gray it's gray it's gray. Look look look... it isn't blue or green. The cloud is gray it's gray it's gray" etc.

Okay, time for me to go sleepy sleep and dream of the near future. A week of hell to endure, then I'm more or less in the clear. Then just 3 weeks after that. Wow... time's moving fast. 3 weeks of teaching, then 6 weeks of wandering, then... homeward bound.

What's Your Doom?

Just a fun little internet test. Basically, you have to choose what you feel are the lesser of evils. Enjoy!

Take the Hecatomb™ TCG What Is Your Doom? quiz.

Busy 'R' Us

We've gone into our winter 'intensive period' with a vengeance. My hours went from about 17 hours a week to 27 or so. On top of the holiday 3-hour courses I have (1 this week, another starting Tuesday this coming week) I have some of Nick's classes: a high-flyer 1A and high-flyer 1B which have filled my weekends. Busy busy.

The folks at work did a bday thing for me last evening. Cake in China really sucks. The icing is liked whipped cream and Chinese cake/bread is odd at the best of times. It was nice, though. Some little girl with hair jewelry/tiara that Angie would have killed her for gave me the above-photographed yogurt drink. ... for some reason. The teachers are taking me out on Sunday given I'll be planning my Sunday lessons on Saturday night (wooo! 13 hour days). I think they're getting me a Takeshi Kitano boxed-set: 13 of his movies. I'll be quite happy with that given that it has Hana-bi (Fireworks) and another one I'd been looking for, but doesn't have "Takeshis" (a movie about a look-alike meeting Takeshi, which is kind of surreal) which I bought separately the other day. Joy! So that'll be a cool gift and a nice addition to my Asian movies collection.

Last Sunday, my TB 3As inquired as to whether I might "treat" them for supper for Spring Festival. It was very cute. There were only 4 of them, and they'd obviously planned to ask me in advance. I said sure, so long as three conditions were met: 1) Andrew the DoS approved, 2) it was on an evening when they could all make it, and 3) they had to have parent permission and 1 parent chaperone. (If more than 1 parent goes, the parents will insist - violently - on paying, which would be against what the kids would like, which is me taking them out.) They were all excited during the break - they were telling Betty - who was my TA for that class - about it and were all a-giggle in the hall. Great kids.

Nick and Katy are heading out quite soon - on Monday, I believe. Nick's last day was Thursday. We all went out for KTV, which was fun. I sang (ha!) "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" and it sucked (read: I sucked). The machine's prompts were totally wonky with English songs. Found out that most of the girls have awesome singing voices, especially Lily, Betty and Amy. It was a fun night, and always good to get everyone out together, something we hadn't done since bowling back in December. Cost 400 yuan for 2 hours, though... karaoke is not cheap.

No teacher replacement for Nick as of yet. Hope one shows up soon as things aren't about to get any more calm around here. Two more weeks of "oh god please shoot me in the face", then 7 days off for our Spring Festival holidays, then the last insane week of the winter period. Then back to normal and 3 weeks of classes for me, and then... I'm off into the wild blue yonder. Likely as of the 21st of March. Hu'rah. I've decided I'm going to hit Xi'an and Chengdu first, and then move southeast and come up from Song Shan/Wutang Shan at the end. Ironically the last thing I'll see will be the Great Wall. Ironic because it's probably the closest prominent Chinese attraction and there are lots of spots I could see portions of it nearby. Just haven't done so. I missed walking to a near-abandoned portion near Datong because I forgot.

Oh, I almost forgot. I had a cool VIP this week: Barry, a 79-year-old Olympics volunteer hopeful. He's going for the interview/try-out in a few months. He's such a nice old guy, and in awesome shape. The guy plays what I can only call "foot badminton" (they use a hacky-sack surrogate shuttlecock, with a net), dances, sings, etc etc. A very nice man, and quite enthusiastic while still coming across as humble. Good sense of humour and quite focused as a student. Just amazes me that he wants to be an Olympics volunteer at his age. Pretty amazing stuff. We got interviewed by the local paper. They caught wind of what he was doing and showed up at the end of our class. They taped a portion of us doing classwork, and then interviewed him for 20 minutes. Purdy neat.

That's it for now. Me must sleep.

Of Flights and Movies

Today's top news is that my flights home have been booked for May 4th, so everything is set. I just need to send a few things back by sea in a few weeks. Geoff, I'll hook up with you for an hour or two in Vancouver, if you can manage it. If I look doped up, it's because noon in Vancouver is 5am the following day for me...

Things in general have been fairly quiet. It appears that our "busy" winter period may not be too busy, which isn't good news (for the school). That starts next week, or ought to. Government doesn't release dates for festivals/holidays until about two weeks in advance of them. We teachers are likely going to have 5 or so days off for Spring Festival, and I'm not sure what/where I'm doing/going. Possibly just Tianjin for a day. I can't see myself wandering too far, though perhaps a little trip to Tai Shan would be nice. Hmmm... I just don't want to dip into the funds for my Sojourn with anything too extravagant.

I went to the movie theatre and saw "The Curse of the Golden Flower" yesterday. As an international release it had both Chinese and English subtitles. It was alright, but it felt a bit too "I'm Zhang Yimou! Look how much I can spend on my movies!". In other words, too much lavishness for the quality of plot. Of course, I suppose that was part of the statement he was making, but it was done somewhat frivolously and without much of his usual stylistic flairs (ref. "Hero"). It was worth seeing anyway, though it's weird how many pop singers are also actors. Found out one of the main male leads in House of Flying Daggers is a singer, and Zhou Jia Lun was in Curse of the Golden Flower. (Hell, even Jackie Chan has an album or two out. Scary, I know.)

I've been buying quite a few Chinese movies over here. I got Crazy Stone, which is sort of like a Chinese Guy Richie film; After This Our Exile, a great little story about a Chinese father and son in Malaysia; the Banquet, one of my favourite movies now; Confessions of Pain (haven't seen it yet, but it has "Tony" Leung Chow-Wei so it's gotta be good); A World Without Thieves which is awesome; and Letters from an Unknown Woman (haven't seen it yet)... on top of all the wuxing style movies (Crouching Tiger, House of Flying Daggers, Seven Swords, Hero, etc). I've also bought three Takeshi Kitano films: Zatoichi, Boiling Point and Kikujiro (which is such a great little story). I never knew that "Beat" Takeshi who is in almost all of Takeshi Kitano's movies is Takeshi Kitano, the director. Sneaky bastard...

We teachers also had our first at-school Chinese lesson. There was a high level class for Duncan, Camilla and Andrew run by Katy, and the low level lesson for myself, Michelle and Alistair which was orchestrated by Lily. Learned a tonne of things, and she taught very well. It was a lot of fun, and I hope to get in an extra lesson on Tuesdays if one of the girls is available. Actually, I need to head into work fairly soon and arrange a little surprise something.

Not too much else to report, really. I haven't done anything extraordinary in a while, though for Nick's going-away party we're having a night out in Beijing, so that ought to yield lots of fun and silliness. I will be wiser this time in terms of my alcohol consumption...

Count Down

Less than three months to go... Lately, I've been completely pre-occupied with thoughts of finishing up here in Tangshan in March and getting my ass on the road. Wanderlust, I guess. I still haven't decided where I'll head first - Zhengzhou or Xi'an - but I have a good idea of what I want to see. I just hope 5 weeks is enough time. I'd like 3 or 4 days in each area, and the hope is to minimize accommodation expenses and maximize wandering around time by covering long distances via overnight train. That reminds me... I'm going to have to ship by sea a lot of things before I go a-wanderin'. I'll leave my laptop and small suitcase with Michelle or Duncan that I will pick up in early May before I fly out of Beijing, as I want to travel light and not lug around more than a backpack for those 5 weeks. ... now I just need to find a good backpack...

However, I'm not sure how I feel about going back to Canada. In a way, I'm looking forward to it, but in another I worry about it. I didn't have much culture shock coming over here, but I know I'll experience reverse culture shock when I return. I also have no clue what I'm going to do in terms of a job. I suppose I'll have to wait and see. I'm hoping that the Sojourn in April will help me find a bit of closure in terms of feeling as though this experience has been worthwhile. With the weather having been inclement since November, I haven't really been out and about. I haven't been to tai ji quan in a long while, either - not for 2 months. Again, due to the weather. Aw well. If I feel weird when I go back to Canada, I'll just consider it temporary and work on getting back here, albeit to someplace more... authentic and away from the commercial zones. Tangshan is not what I thought of when I pictured "China".

Oh, the Christmas package I sent and ranted about arrived without issue on the 27th or something, so I'm happy about that. I also have xmas packages arriving here in the near future to look forward to and enjoy. New Years was a quiet affair - I just stayed at home and watched movies and did some reading. It didn't feel like anything special, which was fine by me. It's odd to think that it's 2007, though. The Transformers TV show was set in 2005 and I remember as a kid thinking 2005 was aeons away, almost untouchable. The Transformers movie, coming out this summer, looks like it'll be fit only for compost, though. They changed Bumblebee from a VW Bug to a stinking Camaro because, and I quote, "A Camaro is cool," smiles the dumb-ass producer. "Herbie the Love Bug isn't cool." Morons. Megatron has also been changed from a gun to some secret airplane (what... there weren't enough jets amongst the Decepticons?), and the movie will be focusing on the "human element". What fucking human element? Spike, the twerpy kid? I don't have much confidence that the movie will be worth the $12 it'll cost to see it.

On another note, I'm still having internet problems over here due to the earthquake(s) that hit Taiwan a week or two back. (It's taken 8 minutes just to load 10% of one of my pictures on Flickr.) Everything's so fickle at the moment. Some sites load quickly, others I have to enter a few times to get it moving. However, when that all gets fixed the new trans-Pacific cables are supposed to be 60% more efficient than the old ones. It's also scheduled to be fully installed in the next week, but I'm not holding my breath.

I had my first show class yesterday, and it went off without many hitches (class photo at the top). No parent complaints and the kids did quite well. I had very little involvement - they ran the 50-minute show, which I wanted. The idea was not to demonstrate concrete grammar or vocabulary, but to show a developing conversive ability using language learned over the course. I didn't have a single parent who raised an issue, and I didn't have any "may I make a suggestion?" crap. I'm quite relieved it's over with now. Oh, it was also filmed. The local news station is doing a segment on our school. It'll be 15 minutes taken from 6 hours of footage captured on Saturday and Sunday. I'm asking to get a DVD of both the segment and all my footage. It will have about 35 minutes of my Early Learner 2 class, my HF-Starter class and the TB 2B show class.

Anyhoo... that's about it for now. Gunna go grab something to eat.

Christmas Day

Turned out to be a great day. I was slow moving in the morning, but was over at Michelle's and Nick's for about 11 (after shaving my head and picking up batteries for my camera). Katy was already over there, so we opened presents before Betty and Ivy arrived. I was a dork and didn't get any for people, but Michelle and Nick got me one, and Michelle got a shared toy for Nick and I: a remote-controlled car. Nick got me a zany Chinese pop-box/song thing. It looks like a barrel of gold coins and this Chinese guy bobs up and down singing a really really annoying song. It's great. All of our stuff made noise so we had worse song/noises competitions.

When Michelle went with Katy to meet up with Ivy, Betty and Jung Lei, Nick and I went to forage at the grocery store. We got: 1 kg of sausages, another pack of 8 eggs, orange juice, two bottles of wine, eight bottles of beer, and mushrooms. Mix that in with the two packs of bacon, 16 eggs, two loaves of bread that Michelle already had and we were set. I cooked up a huge breakfast - with Katy, Ivy and Betty attempting to butter toast (new experience for them) and Nick microwaving scrambled eggs. Nick and I got into one of the bottles of wine. I cooked up the sausages, mushrooms, bacon and did some botched fried eggs. We were working with very poor culinary resources. It was a MacGyver xmas breakfast.

God it was funny watching the Chinese girls and Jung Lei try to eat with forks and knives. They ended up making sandwiches out of everything. Then we made an obstacle-course out of boxes and raced the car around. That fun lasted for a good 40 minutes, then we headed downstairs to Nick's apartment to start the games.

First up... monopoly, another new experience for Betty, Ivy, Jung Lei and Katy. I was teamed with Betty and Ivy, Michelle was with Jung Lei, and Nick was with Katy. At first, Ivy and Betty weren't sure what was going on, but once they got into it, Ivy kept shouting "Pay money!" every time someone moved to a property she thought we had. Betty kept feeling guilty about rolls that landed us on tax squares and trying to get Ivy and I to not buy anything and just amass wealth. It was a good time, but kinda petered out as monopoly does.

We switched to card games, so I taught everyone Crazy 8s. We played a few rounds of that, then tried Go Fish, but I couldn't remember all the rules and that fell apart. So we played Chinese Go Fish (Dao Yu... I think?) which was cool. Kind of like blackjack. Everyone gets 4 cards, and a central card is placed face-up. You have to make 14 out of it with a card you have, then you take the combo for yourself. If you can't, you have to lay one of your cards down so the next person has two options. Also, spades are worth 4 pts, hearts 3, clubs 2, diamonds 1. You tally points once everyone is out of cards in their hand (when the deck is out of cards in the centre). Very fun. We played quite a few rounds. I did horribly. I think Betty got a higher score on our first round than I did in the entire game of 5 rounds.

After that, Jung Lei headed home so Michelle walked with him. Nick and Katy just hung out, chatting, and I played a fishing game with Ivy and Betty. I started cheating by wrapping their fishing pole lines up with mine, and by the end it was "who can keep the others from getting any fish". We had to stop because we were laughing so hard we couldn't breathe.

Then we played Pictionary. Michelle and I had dragged a portable whiteboard from the school the evening before. It was Betty, Katy and I vs Michelle, Nick and Ivy. It was great, and we played for quite some time. We had a few arguments over being exact ("age" vs "aging" for instance) but all in all it was great. Pictionary lasted quite a long time. When Ivy and Betty departed, we played darts for a bit and just hung out. Then we went back to Pictionary since it was going so well.

For supper, we went to a Western restaurant and kind of pigged-out. By the time we finished there, it was almost 10pm, and we called it a night. All in all, a fun day. Everyone had a good time. Can't ask for more than that.

Christmas Show

Alright, it was chaotic, but fun.

Things opened up around 3pm, and kids just queued to perform, thanks to Lily's organization. Prior to the show, Nick and I wandered Ke Ji Guan (the Museum of Science & Technology, where the show was being held) and saw some of the stuff. It doesn't hold a candle to Science North in Sudbury, but there were some fun things there, including a cool tunnel version of the "crooked kitchen"... it almost made me vomit I got so dizzy walking through it.

The best part of the night was definitely seeing the kidlets do their thing. And "their thing" ranged from choreographed modern dance, traditional dance (from many different time periods), martial arts, comedy acts, singing, and many assortments of musical instrument playing. I got to see Andy and Jenny from my EL class sing. They were very cute. Jenny followed me around half the rest of the show, and when I was on stage, kept waving and clapping. Most of the uploaded Flickr pictures were taken by Johnson and Angela from my TB 5B class, as they arrived to help but really had nothing to do.

The parents of the kids were horrible. They never clapped for anyone but their own child, so the place was silent except for Michelle, Nick and I clapping enthusiastically. Some of the acts (like the red dancer trio, the boy pianist and the guzheng player) got some hearty applause, and deservedly so. Most of the kids put a lot into this.

As far as the teachers went, the first thing was the Beijing Opera skit with Michelle and Joe, which was quite funny. Second up was Ivy showing us how to make a paper crane, which only Camilla got. Michelle wound up with a triangle, I tore mine to shreds to create a demonic phoenix-esque thinger and I have no clue how Nick, Joe and Andrew did. Not much better, but the kids loved watching us mess about. (I gave Jenny my horrible folded thingy.)

Then Nick had a Santa race (three teams of High Flyers dressing one of their teammates up as Santa), and then I was on with my search for tai ji quan pants skit, which Lucinda, Katy and Angie helped out with. They definitely kicked ass. The kids had a lot of fun with that, as it was all in butchered Chinese and involved them trying to sell me a pair of shorts, a skirt and sweat-pants, respectively. At the end I was trying to haggle with Angie and asking the kids to approve, and I was getting universal dissapproval until I added a piece of candy to the bargaining. It was hilarious watching fifty little hands slowly rise into the air, hoping for the candy. Nick said their faces all dropped when I gave it to Angie to close the deal. It was fun.

No real issues with the show except that it was a bit mad. We almost got lynched at the end when we were doing the final lucky draw for prizes. Poor Lily, though... she worked her ass off for the entire 3 hours. She was so exhausted and dejected afterwards. Got her feeling better at supper, though.

We went for supper at a Brazilian restaurant. We took up half the place. I sat next to Lily and Kelly, the cleaner (who is damn funny and just plain awesome). Nick and Katy were across from me. Everyone opened up their secret Santa gifts, and were generally happy. ... except for Lucinda who I think said "What the hell is this?". I think she got an alarm clock, as did Ivy. Not good things to receive in China, by the way. Traditionally, it means you want the recipient to die. Ivy burst into tears, which I thought was a result of the clock, but she was upset that Joe is leaving. It was his last hurrah. He's heading to Wenzhou tomorrow.

It was a good night, all around. My secret Santa gift was this Swiss Army Knife lighter thing. It looks like some high-tech acetylene torch, with a knife, file, and scissors that come out of the sides of it. Oh, and it has a compass. I certainly did alright. Nick got a baby bottle, which had to be from someone who has been around a while and knows about Nick and Katy. That was funny as hell. He drank wine and beer from it all night. (Takes 5 minutes at a single go to drain a full bottle, by the way.) At least no one got an apple. The Chinese and their apple giving at Christmas. It means prosperity and health, but the idea of getting an apple as a gift is just weird. Xiang Li gave Camilla and I one each when we went for supper. It was like "Ahhh awesome. I've always wanted... fruit."

Now to get some sleep, teach two classes tomorrow, and wake up to Christmas.

Edit: having issues uploading to Flickr the 50-some photos from tonight. Will get that up there soon.

Terrors of baijiu

God, do I ever have a love/hate relationship with Chinese spirits, called baijiu. It's like vodka/sambuca... 38% or higher. I ought to have guessed it'd be a rockin' supper when Xiang Li hauled two massive bottles - plus a veritable suitcase containing two more bottles - of it out of his truck. I love how you can take almost anything into a restaurant.

This is in reference to the supper I "owed" my Budweiser VIP, by the way. And yes... writing this, I'm still heavily under the effects.

There's this place in Tang Shan that I've always wondered about. It's actually just around the corner from me. I mean, literally 200 meters away, down a side-street. The restaurant is all white and gold, with fancy-dressed staff and tonnes of seafood tanks in the main lobby. I've walked past it a number of times, but tonight... we ventured within. We had a side room, and by 7pm, there were 10 of us in there. Thankfully I roped Camilla into coming with me or I might have been bombarded with ganbei's and a tonne of questions I couldn't understand/answer.

The assorted folks were friends of Xiang Li's, including a financial business owner from Shanghai, a "secretary" (there's no way she was anything but a consort dressed- and made-up like she was, intelligent though she seemed to be), a self-made man, and the local CCP head of "department of discipline" supervision and enforcement. Basically, anyone in the local CCP steps out of line, and he and his dept step in to set them straight. This guy was smoking 120 yuan/pack smokes and commanded the place like nothing I've ever seen. The baijiu was flowing like ummm... wine... and though I tried to steer clear, I had about 3.5 glasses of it. And two beers.

I'm sorry, but the Chinese put every other culture to shame when it comes to celebratory toasts and getting wasted at events. I was toasted for being a teacher, a friend to Xiang Li, sitting near the head minister of punishment (or whatever), for being there with another teacher (Camilla), for being Xiang Li's teacher, for having supper, for gracing them with my balding presence, for being "handsome" (what the fuck?!)... jesus. We went through the four bottles of baijiu fast. The food was awesome, and plentiful in the extreme. It was the most expensive supper I've ever had, and I shudder to know what the bill ended up being. No doubt half of my monthly salary, I don't doubt. We had whole crabs for dessert, for chris'sake!

Ended up getting a lift from my VIP which was a bit scary, as baijiu laden as he was. However, I've never seen a more girly driver than him when sober, so he was simply a usual Chinese driver when drunk. I wouldn't have driven with him, but hey... it honestly can't be worst than most drivers here. All was well and there were no incidents. It wasn't the wisest thing to do, but Camilla and I all but pleaded to be allowed to take a taxi. Honour and the guest-right wouldn't allow it. He'd lose face if he let us do that, as our host.

Tomorrow is the Xmas Show... and it should be a wondrous cluster-fuck. We had a meeting today, and found out that contrary to our plans, people will be showing up around 3pm. Also, there are 57 student performances. WHAT - THE - FUCK? I mean, honestly. We have two hours, and with every performance being restricted to 2 minutes, you figure out what 57 goddamn performances equals. Never mind dragging a guzheng on stage or some other random instrument or what-have-you, doing sound set-up, introducing performers, etc. It'll be a funny kind of hell.

Christmas is looking to be worse than Halloween, but I don't care. I'm just doing my bit and will laugh at the rest. I have to do a skit to find tai ji pants... and try to make a big paper origami something or other. And supervise students wrapping someone up as a Christmas tree. It'll be insane and unstable, the whole show. I can't wait. I embrace the insanity.

Now I need to down about a litre and a half of water before hitting the hay.

This is such a scattered post.

PS: in Batman Begins, he is in a Chinese prison. Can't remember who I argued with about that, but Christian Bale says "Wo bushi zuifan". ("I'm not a criminal.") So score 1 me.

Christmas, Past and Present

Definitely a bit of a difference between how I felt about Christmas when I was 4 (left) versus how I feel about it now. Obviously, I loved getting presents of the He-Man, Transformers, LEGO, GI Joe, ThunderCats, GoBots, Star Wars variety back then. Nowadays I have more fun buying gifts for people and seeing/imagining their reactions.

That said, I'm not sure how I feel about this Christmas. Christmas in Tang Shan... just sounds like a weird juxtaposition. I guess part of it is that I have very little time to ponder and anticipate. We have our school's Christmas Party on Saturday, in the Museum of Science and Technology downstairs, then a Christmas supper that night, then a full day teaching on Sunday, then Christmas. With Alistair and Duncan gone (and Camilla in Beijing) it will be Nick, Michelle and myself along with a few of the assistants (I hope). If not, I will just spend a quiet day by myself, maybe go to Tianjin and wander some of the old culture streets and visit the museum to Huo Yuanjia. I'm just not in the mood for abiding Nick if he's in one of his slumps.

Christmas just doesn't feel like anything this year. It feels like a day I ought to be looking forward to, but am not. Part of how Christmas will be depends on how Nick decides to act. Will he be or pretend to be a human being, or will he be a moody prick? Beijing duck isn't really a substitute for my mom's turkey and stuffing and potatoes and carrots and gravy and lemon merange pie! Also, Christmas really is more about having a bit of time off and being with people you care about. While I like the people I work with, it seems like a very poor exchange. Part of Christmas is all the little things that cause those "yay!" twinges in your brain: my parents waking up the morning of, making coffee, pouring orange juice, my mom baking cinnamon buns, my brother having to be prodded out of hybernation, etc. first before anyone approaches the tree. How my parents settle with little smiles into their chairs around the tree while my brother and I dole out the presents to everyone. (We start by sorting everyone's stuff first, then piling them at the recipient's feet, then unwrap them one by one... it's like Canada Post Christmas!)

Anyhoo. Time will tell how I'm feeling about Christmas this year. It's very weird seeing shops with xmas decorations all over, and no one celebrates it here. Well, that's not true. Some families do, or use it as an excuse to give gifts. Like most people, the Chinese love an excuse to celebrate with family and friends.

Tonight I have my Budweiser VIP lesson and I've finally relented to his pestering me about taking me out for supper and drinks. I hope I can rope in Michelle and/or Nick to come with me. Otherwise, it could be a very dull and trying time with him no doubt continuing to try to plan my Christmas. At least I will have an excuse to turn in early: my Early Learner class is at 9am, and I need to be in for 8:20am or so to double-check materials and prep.

I'll try to get one of my TB 5Bs to take pictures at the Christmas Party. Almost all of them volunteered to help, but there isn't much for them to do, so I'll put one on camera duty. Should be a fun night. I can't wait to see the spoof of the Beijing Opera.

So Merry Christmas, all! Eat some turkey and drink some wine for me.

To Send a Box...

Here's the story of why I'll never again send anything overseas from China.

Last week, I had my box of xmas presents all ready to send, but wasn't able to go to China Post due to having a class and the post office closing. Michelle, kind heart and friend that she is, went for me with Lily to translate. No go. They wanted receipts.

On Saturday, I bought three different kinds of generic receipt pads, and the girls at work made some up for me, each doing a different one. Today, Katy and I hit China Post... and were there for 2 hours. The first time. The gritty details:

Issue number one: receipts. I had one that I'd kept, but only had the made-up ones otherwise. When I told them I'd bought half of the gifts in Chengde and Datong (a slight exaggeration) and when they saw (but did not read) the other receipts in my hand, they relented. Phew.

Issue number two: I couldn't use regular post. I had to send using EMS, Expedited Mail Service (I think). This brought about........

Issue number three: they wouldn't use the box I had. They, instead, had to charge me 35 yuan and transfer everything into a China Post box, which took 30 minutes for them to do since they tried to over-wrap everything in toilet-paper and half the things didn't fit back in their boxes. ... so then they had to undo the wrapping. Once that was done, I had to cut out the address stickers to place on the new box, the main one of which they half-concealed using China Post-marked packing-tape.

Issue number four: internet failure and translation issues from the info slip to the computer. As the lady (one of three involved, of course) was entering my info onto the computer, the internet went down. That's right: the whole thing. I'm sure you heard about it - Bill Gates was weeping, Google stock dropped 23.4%. (kiddin') Chinese ISPs are problematic at best. Also, apparently capital letters and clear writing wasn't enough to transition my personal information to the computer. They had to ask for the spelling. I'm not sure if they even looked at the slip in front of them with all of it written there.

Issue number five: a second visit. As a result of issue number four, I had to go back an hour and a half later, rushing to meet Katy at the school and taxi down there to make it before close so they could ship that night. Which meant I had to leave the parcel there in between. The place looked like the back room of a shady gambling parlour. They said if I took it with me, they'd have to re-open everything and go through it all... even if it was the same three ladies helping me. Weeeeeee

Issue number six: contents recording and translation. I had to write down exactly what was in there, and then try to remember what those things were. It ended up being 9 things (I hope), and Katy had to translate what they all were into Chinese for the packing slip. That wasn't too too bad, but I hope their assurances that a bag with two things in it count as 1 item are true... otherwise this box'll never make it out of China.

Issue number seven: it cost a small fortune due to having to send it via EMS and not regular post. Regular post is about 10 yuan per kilo. ... EMS is 85 yuan per kilo, or thereabouts.

To summarize: it took them examining everything in the box very carefully, false receipts, a new box I had to pay for, an over-abundance of toilet-paper wrapping and other packing silliness, contents translation, internet failure, three clerks, a chunk of my monthly pay, and over two hours across two visits to get it done.

I consoled myself with a few DVD purchases (I'm up to 110 DVDs, total). And now... to sleep I go, hopeful that around the second or third of January, the box will arrive in Canada in one piece, with all its contents.

Greatest response to spam ever

Just got an email from a good and old friend, and it contained a quite a gem. Everyone has gotten emails termed Nigerian email scams (people wanting your personal info to send you money... yeah), as well as identity theft attempts and every other sort of crappy email junk. Well, my new hero, writing under the name Okershee Holdergrass, had correspondence with his 'hopeful'. Let's look at a few priceless morsels, shall we?

Okershee's response to the primary email:

Place your trust in the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY. With a little faith, perhaps you may be spared from the horrifying death that awaits those with CANCER OF THE LUNGS. As for me, my LORD GOD forbids me from seeking wealth. You may stick your money up the ORIFICE of your CHOICE. But please, when you meet our maker, tell him that Okershee is at his service.

God bless you, and may you find a deserving beneficiary.

Rebuttal from She Who Suffers? Indeed!

My relation that i am supposed to give out this funds to poisoned my parents and the same time tried to kill me but God secured my life that period but the sudden death of my parents led me to this deadly habit (CHAIN SMOKER) that i am suffering today.My health is seriously tormenting and will give up soonest that is the main reasons why i want you to take possession of these funds for charitable purpose.Kindly Send me this information, Your full name, your contact address, your mobile phone number to enable me forward them to the cargo company for release of the cargo in your favour.Thanks and may God bless you for being there for the poor children.

Okershee responds with a message of hope!

But wait - THERE IS HOPE! I have in my possession an ELIXIR or potion of healing herbs and spices, given to me by a holy vagrant. I have saved it for my dying father, perishing of the crotchrot. But i feel God informing me to send it to you, my lovely sister in Christ. I sense in you a wonderful righteousness and titillation, while my father is a wicked man given to sex-sin and philately.

But you, i know, would use your moneys for the appreciation and enjoyment of little children, for the eternal glory of Christ (AMEN). So i will send this powerful potion to you my sister. Please kindly send your contact address and mobile phone number so we may arrange a delivery.

There is more, of course... those are but snippets. It's just fantastic. Sir... you truly are a wonder and a credit to sarcasm and imaginative sardonic retaliation. Reading that really made me smile. This parting line truly deserves some sort of immortal praise: "I will feed you filbert nuts by candlelight. I will sing you Berber folk songs. I will bathe you with silken cloths and frothy goat milk. I will perform your last rites. And you will perish in agony, but also in delight. With rotting lungs but a soaring heart."

One of the greatest email exchanges ever.

Nothing really new here in Tang Shan. Hopefully sending out xmas gifts tomorrow. That's about the highlight. Can't wait to get that all sent off. Our plans for our school Christmas show is coming along well. Should be a laugh. We're holding it in the Museum of Science and Technology on the 23rd, and it will be full of fun skits including my on-going quest for tai ji pants, Nick doing a magic show, Michelle along with Joe and Camilla doing a rendition of Beijing Opera, Lily juggling, a modified version of The 12 Days of Christmas... the list goes on.

Another week, another kuai

<---- my TB 5B class (none absent!)

Since starting to work here, I have a new-found love of Sundays.

Yesterday I had my first of forty classes with my early learner kidlets. There were seven of them, six boys, one girl. All of them were great except for one kid who looked like he'd been stuffed by a blind taxidermist and propped up in a seat. He was so blank it was kind of funny in a sad sort of way. I did "Hello! What's your name?" chain around the room, having the students asking and answering. When it got to him, he just sort of stared and Lily had to prompt him. It reminded me of someone with stage-fright - someone so freaked out he couldn't even whisper "line!!".

They're so very cute, those kids. I have one boy who must love his name a lot. You say hello to him and he jumps up and cries "Hello Andy!". Ask him "What's your name?" and he, again, pops up and says, "Hello Andy!".

While it's fun, it's also a helluva lot of work. If you pause for 3 seconds, you have to spend 30 to get them re-focused and back on track. Poor Lily has her work cut out for her. Early learner classes should have two assistants, but she'll be the only one. Rudy was helping for a bit, though, which was awesome. Some things take so long... one hour just isn't enough time. Giving homework and making sure they put the worksheets in their folders can take 10 minutes alone since you basically have to do it with them on an enlargement. You also have to get them moving and doing things while you mess around with flashcards or whatever on the board or around the room. There are numbers and letters on the floor, so I'd just go "Okay, everyone stand up. Hmmm... WHERE'S GREEN?!" and they'd all race around as I scramble to arrange resources for the next portion of the class. "FIND 4! Where's 4?" etc. Andy almost dropped his pants when I asked "Where's red?". Apparently he has red long-johns. LOL Lily caught him before he could, though. Going to class, I look like Leon (sans tuque, plant and sunglasses) with my massive case of resources: tapes, flashcards, roll-up laminated printing lines, pictures of Noddy and his pals, laminated worksheet enlargements, activity cards, etc.

I didn't have another class til the afternoon, which was my class of 14-15 year olds (class picture above). The unit topic is Movies, so we had a blast with that. I'd just gone out the day before and bought a few DVDs, so I brought the sleeves in. Their homework was "The Last Starfighter... what do you think the plot could be?". One girl (the one on the far right in the photo) came up with a brilliant plot that would make a kick-ass movie: it was basically The Big Lebowsky meets Hard-Boiled. They discussed agreement/disagreement, and brought back Making Excuses from last unit, and did interviews with one another in the future progressive (hard as hell). Had a lot of fun with it, anyway.

Then... had 1.5 hours of "English Corner", which is basically a social style venue where conversive Chinese chat with foreigners. It was at the hotel near the school, and we ate for free, which was alright. However... the restaurant was playing "The Sound of Music" on a big screen... which was not okay. Actually had fun, though. It was the DoS, Michelle and I there with four Chinese university students.

Today was mostly crap. My morning TB 2B class just sort of went "bleh" at the beginning... and it didn't really turn around. They have a show class (*cough* I have a show class *cough*) in 4 weeks. That'll be a blast... a 1-hour "this is what your kids learned" class (which could go completely to shit if they freeze up or just don't focus) and then parent meetings. Then I observed Nick's 6-7 year olds. I will be getting the same level class as he has next Saturday or Sunday. Should be alright, but my hours are booked solid at the moment. After that, I had my other TB 2B class, and I think I've hit the limits of their abilities. They were dubbed a problem class when I took them over 9 weeks ago, but I had hope. I still retain some hope... but not a great deal. They spent 45 seconds attempting to locate Canada on a map, placing it in every continent (including Antarctica) before choosing the right country. They only got it because they were running out of countries after Uzbekistan and Finland. I was just relieved when they got China right off the bat. ... then one kid points out Argentina. What the hell?! They can't find the US, but this guy knew where Argentina is. Quite funny.

Anyway... the weekend is over. Now I can look forward to two days off, then right back to the grind. This week I'll have a lot more planning to do with these two new classes. Oh, and I might be playing street hockey with a university club on Tuesday. My VIP university students invited me to play with them, so we'll see how I'm feeling when Tues rolls around.

That's it for now. Hope everyone had a good weekend!

Kidlets Incoming!

My school schedule has changed radically since yesterday. Tomorrow, I have a new class: early learners (ages 4-5) and next week I start a starter class for kids ages 6-8. Should be fun, and it will add some very welcome variety to my current weekend line-up which is all pre-teens and teens. I may also get a weekend adult class, and my first 2-student conversation VIP class is happening today. That one should be relaxed - two university students who just want conversation exercises and excuses to chat in English.

So yeah... I'm looking forward to those, but I still have a lot of planning to do for this weekend. The lesson plan for the very little youngin's alone is 7 pages... for a one-hour class. Talk about pedantic. It should be fine, though. I've covered these kids for the DoS before, and they're pretty good. One of them is a spacial genius. I gave him a puzzle of shaped wooden blocks that you have to arrange so they all fit together. He did it in like ten seconds. Also, I'll have Lily as my assistant, and she's good about classroom control. I also get paid to act like a goof. The goofier and more spontaneous the better with kids that age.

I need to finish up xmas shopping on Monday or Tuesday and send stuff out. Does anyone else find that Christmas seems to approach faster and more silently every year?

Oh, forgot that I hadn't updated from the post below where I said I was going for the interview meeting at the university a few weeks back. I didn't take it, though the contract was good. The main issue was losing out on 5,000 yuan which I'll get from my current school once my contract is ended (half my round-trip flight ticket reimbursed). That doesn't seem like a great reason, but 5,000 is about a month's pay and more importantly... covers a quarter of the cost of my trip around China in April. Also, we have a new DoS in two weeks' time, and the change will be welcome, I think.

Debauchery in Beijing

Quite a night in Beijing.

Alistair and I arrived around 3:30pm, with the plan to meet Duncan on Wangfujing Street at 5pm. The two of us wandered down, taking a short-cut through the Orient Plaza, which is a nice mall on one of the main drags. As we approach the locator map of the mall, this Chinese student immediately homes in on us. They're like friendly parasites in Beijing, and they're almost always women in Arts programs at university. She was a Philosophy major named Rose. She offered to show us around a bit, and we had nothing else to do, so off we went. Alistair wanted to hit up a DVD/music shop. He went off to do his browsing while Rose and I chatted about Chinese movies, actors and directors. She recommended a few directors to me, and suggested checking out a movie called "Letter From an Unknown Woman". I found that there and bought it to watch with Angie when I get back.

On Wangfujing Street, she went her way, and we went ours. Fun to meet new people, even briefly. All they want is to use their English with a foreigner, though you sometimes have to be careful they don't talk you into a drink someplace and slap the bill on you... which could be extremely pricey if you've walked into a swank tea house or coffee shop.

Alistair and I then headed to the Foreign Bookstore. Before that, I did a price check on a piece of camera electronics for my dad, and the lady started asking me to make an offer. I kept saying "Wo bu yao" (I don't want it) to which she replied "Make me an offer". So wrote down 2100 yuan. She glares at it and says "NO! Can't make any money from that." ... some people's kids.

I bought a Chinese-English dictionary and "The Count of Monte Cristo" in the store, and we went across the way to McDonald's to get a small hamburger while waiting for 5pm to roll around. When it did and Duncan still wasn't there, we tried to get my phone card to work. We must have looked like complete morons. No workie, and we spent like 10 minutes with the damn thing. So we went to the hostel, checked in and called Duncan on his cell from there.

Anyway... we hooked up with Duncan at the hostel at 6:30... he was a tad late. Then we grabbed a beer in the Backpackers' Club and went to the Sichuan restaurant that Steve, Nika and I had tried in October. Good food, good times. We even had the same waitress, which was funny. We had another beer there, and headed for Sanlitun.

First stop... Kai Club, this little place off behind the main street that played trance/techno sort of stuff. We lounged about on crap couches for two or three drinks, pondered a strange painting of a naked Chinese guy lying down on his front with a bullfrog leaping over him (or possibly out of him...), then packed it in and wandered farther along.

Bar Blu was next on our list, but before that, Alistair and I checked out a great 24-hour DVD shop across the street. I bought "The Machinist", "On the Wings of Desire" (movie that "City of Angels" is based on), "Old Boy", "Hotel Rwanda", "Tsotsi", "Lost In Translation", and "O Brother Where Art Thou?". I think I'm now up to... well, almost 90 DVDs. I've bought approx 60 here.

We had quite a few drinks in Bar Blu, and watched some cricket and football (English football). Alistair explained the mysteries of cricket, and it's actually quite a cool sport. It gets a bad rep for being boring, and maybe the 5-day games can be boring (Alistair says "strategic") but the 1-days are pretty cool. The bathroom was quite nice. It was like an aquarium 'trench' urinal. At least it was nice until some Chinese guys stumbled in to ummm... expess his body's displeasure at the amount of alcohol he'd consumed. That was our signal to continue stumbling onwards, so we hopped in a cab and headed for Suzie Wong.

Suzie Wong has a feel like a remodeled 1920s opium den. It's quite lavish, with friendly and knowledgeable staff, decent drink lists, and tonnes of atmosphere. I abandoned beer in favour of whiskey sours. (Turned out to be a big mistake around 4am, but I digress.) There was a party of 20 or so near us, so we stayed on the same floor and didn't head up to the loft area. They were all from Paris, doing a one-year roaming something-or-other. They were Economics students. They'd been to Shanghai for three months (I think), were in Beijing for ten days, and were headed to New York for six months. They were blowing cash like nothing. Absinthe, champagne, towering glasses soaked in alcohol that they set fire to, blah blah blah. They must have spent 3,000-5,000 yuan there, easy.

Anyway, when Alistair and Duncan decided to carry on to Mick's, I decided to cut myself off (which I ought to have done at Bar Blu) and head back to the hostel. It was, at this point, 2:45am. I had a very very rough morning, the details of which I will skip. The first point I felt semi-decent was when we got onto the bus back to Tangshan and passed out for 2 hours. That was at 12:30pm, so yeah... it was a harsh morning. Alistair and Duncan had it slightly better, but they got less sleep. They stumbled in at 5:30am. They also passed out on the bus.

Quite a night. Part of the plan had been to get up at 10:30 this morning and hit Wou Hei hutong and have lunch and do some shopping before coming back to Tangshan. Well, that got scrapped since we looked and felt like zombies this morning. All in all, it was a great night, and there is lots of photographic evidence...

Week in Review

I'm off to Beijing tomorrow with Alistair and Duncan, and I think Michelle. I need to send a whack of cashola back to Canada, and need to check for a Chinese-English book and buy a few things for xmas to send back. I have a few things already. Ever had that "Oh my god... this item is PERFECT for so-and-so!" moment? I had one today. I'll grab it for my dad for sure. I'm not sure he'd use it that much, but I know he'd love having it. Now to find something that really cries out to me for my Mom.

This week has been a little rocky, like watching that scene in "Pi" where what's-his-name has his migraines and the camera goes nuts. It's been like watching the world around me shake and quiver with no ability for me to do squat about it. (Speaking of shaking... we had a minute earthquake here this morning at 12:35am... lasted six seconds, but was easily felt!)

First, things have not been going well for very very close friends of mine, and I fucking hate that I can't do something, even if it's only give them a hug and treat them to a beer overwhich I could listen and be vented at. I loathe the feeling of utter helplessness, but that's where I'm at. I can only hope my emails can contain enough of "me" to be of some worth.

The other thing revolves around poor Betty, the new teaching assistant. Lovely girl - shy, friendly and above the usual juvenile female Chinese gossip-mongering and silliness. Well, on Thursday she was accused of stealing 100 yuan from Katy... $17. Everyone stacked on her. I didn't see it, but Alistair (not knowing at the time what had happened) said he saw her in the teachers' room crying that night whilst the rest of the TAs were on the other side of the room maliciously ignoring her.

Heard about it all from Nick on Friday at lunch. I was some pissed. I guess I've always sided with the underdogs. Since I know Katy well I talked to her first, telling her about Camilla's issue with a workman being in her room moving things. Workmen have been all over the school engaged in huge overhauls that our over-zealous DoS felt were necessary. Very likely one of them nabbed the money from the cabinet, but Betty, being new, got the shaft. I told Katy what I thought of the entire affair, the end result being Katy ending up a bit chagrined. Somewhat pissed and upset at things happening beyond my sphere of control in other areas, I took a stance with this. I spoke with Betty after that, supporting her and talking to her about things. Poor girl was on the verge of tears seeing someone on her side. I just wanted to hug her, but talk about tossing napalm into a fire...

She seems to be doing better now, as I spoke with her again today to see how she was feeling. If she gets any more shit, I'm going to stand up and declare that I stole the money. When Katy or another TA says "What?! Really?" I'll say "No, it was Lucinda" and get them all over fucked up over it, then lay into them as they deserve. Childish prats. My 12-year-old kidlets wouldn't sink this low and cruel. Leave it to a close-knit bunch of 23-26 year old Chinese women, however...

Anyhoo... I've done my good deed. Just hope it's helped. At the very least, Betty now feels she can talk to myself and Michelle if something like this happens again. Sad but true... one teacher can win an argument or grievance vs 7 assistants combined. We're simply worth more than they are, in the Chinese mind, so if it comes to an administrative look at the situation, I win. I plan to use that to my full advantage when/if needs be. This shitty behaviour and attitude affects everyone. We have a very symbiotic and fragile little bubble-world going here, and one thing can set everything off pretty fast.

Not much happening in my own life, to be honest. Had a really good Chinese lesson on Saturday night. My classes are good, but one of my TB classes has been cancelled permanently. I find I really rely on my kids to pick me up if I'm feeling tai bu hao or kun le ("not too good" and "tired" respectively), and boy can they deliver. Nothing like walking into a room to a bunch of little faces that suddenly light up, turn your way and cry out "Hello, Teacher!" or "Good morning, Teacher!". It can't help but make me smile.

Oh, I found out Chow Yun Fat's Chinese name (and no, that's not it strangely enough). It's Zhou Run fa (Joe Roon faah). Well... I now own "Hard-Boiled" (got it for $1). I also got a copy of "District B-13" with English subtitles. Weee!! Now if I could only find "The Last Starfighter"...

That is all. Pictures of Beijing antics will be incoming. Also, I'll take a few more shots of my classes. I have a TB class closing up soon and I want to get a class picture of them before that.

Busy Day

Today Alistair, Nick and I toured the Tang Shan brewery, where they make Tung beer. Our students at the brewery - directors, managers and the boss himself - invited us yesterday.

It was a lot of fun. We met up with two of them and a driver at the school at 10:45am, then were taken to the brewery, which is more or less behind where Alistair and I live, a bit to the north and east. We were greeted by a few of our other students, and shown to the owner's office. I was offered an extremely expensive cigarette (one pack of twenty is 150 yuan) and we chatted as our various other students were assembled. I got to see where my student, a finance manager, worked (holy nice office). Then we were given hats and safety glasses, and off we went.

We hit the room for the mash boiler, rice cooker, and Launter mixer first. A pretty sterile room that Alistair noted "looks like a Bond villain lair", complete with control room with bright toggles, buttons and switches. Since they weren't in production at the time, we were able to pop open the hatches to the five tanks and peer down into them.

Then we went below to see all the mechanical works. Terry Gilliam would have had a field day with all the ducts and pipes. Then we saw the fermentation tanks, and the filtration and cleaning areas of the brewery. Very cool. Like vast rooms of sexy stainless steel. Apparently, they make up to 500 tonnes of beer a day in peak (read: summer) times. Pipes, pipes and more pipes. It was quite something to see. So much goes into beer-making... everything from a centrifuge to separate bacteria from the fermented beer to a machine that turns hard-water soft. We didn't get to see the bottling lines since they weren't going at the time.

After the one-hour tour, we all walked south a block or two to a "famous" restaurant - famous apparently for dumplings. We all filed into a quiet room and a case of beer was popped open. Thus began the biggest early afternoon drunk since 1999 (for me). It was non-stop gan bei's and toasts/thanks. I had a few new dishes today: cow stomach (chilled), jellyfish (chilled) and sole. We also had crab, pork, mogu (mushrooms), two types of shrimp, two other kinds of fish, dumplings, a few chicken dishes, spare-ribs, about six other dishes, and beer, beer, beer. Dear god... I have no clue how these guys went back to work after that. Nick had five bottles (720 ml), Alistair and I each had three, plus I shared a 4th with my student, Xiang Li. Nine of us finished off a case of twenty-four Tung plus six more.

I'll post later tonight, also, since we have our first work social event happening: bowling. Everyone will be there, which means 8 teachers (6 of us minions + the DoS + our new DoS, Andrew, from Qinhuangdao), 3 Sales, 6 assistants, 1 accounts manager and the coordination manager. I'm with Duncan, Julia (coord manager) and Betty, a new assistant who helps me out for one class. It should be fun, and I plan on taking many more pictures.

I just hope there isn't any beer...

Update

Sorry, bit of a lapse in blog posts there.

There hasn't been much happening, and yet there has been. I'm copying and pasting (with edits and omissions) from a long email sent to a friend, since I can't honestly be bothered to try to remember the minutiae of the last three weeks.

Tomorrow, I have an "interview" with the university dean for languages (or whatever the title is). All I know is that I'm not sure I want a switch, though I'd enjoy the university's holidays... which are quite good. I haven't had a chance yet to speak to my tai ji quan masters. I just don't know who I can trust to translate for me. I think I'll go Thursday night and give it a shot with the doctor who goes to tai ji quan. His English is decent, and I just want to see what rough offer they can make.

So I have one opportunity lined up, with another as a potential. The 'potential' is the one I'm most interested in, that being with my tai ji quan masters and having the maximum chance for a "real" China experience with travel and immersion.

Work hasn't been too bad this week. I've wound up with this rich lady - about 30 years old, if that - as a VIP. She offered me a smoke in class (1-on-1) which was funny. She's going to Vancouver in a few weeks, and just wants vocab and useful phrases for airports, shopping, restaurants, etc. She's kinda cool, an in all honesty not hard to look at, if a bit flakey. My other VIP is Mary, one of my 12-year-olds from TB 2B. She is MC'ing an English competition in late January, and needs to boost her English and public speaking confidence a bit. She has always been very quiet, but she spoke for almost 40 minutes straight about everything from playing piano to what classes she enjoys, to what her brothers and sisters do and what she thinks about China. Very cute kid. I keep forgetting to take pictures of my classes. I need to do so.

On Sunday I had parent interviews with parents of my TB 4A class... it was horrible. "How is my child compared to the rest of the class?" "Are they better?" "Why isn't my child's English perfect?" "Can I offer you a few suggestions on teaching? Well, first..." Blah blah fucking blah. One actually tried to shanghai the class reports of the other students. The Chinese sales girl almost gave them up and I said "No no NO." Fucking christ... I am not looking forward to my TB 2B show class in 7 weeks...

They don't care about their kids really except how theirs can have the best marks and be in the highest level. It makes me ill. These poor kids already have so much pressure on them, and are in school for like 8-10 hours a day, usually 6 days a week. I really just wanted to say "I don't fucking care what you do... it's your kid. I want no hand or thought in how you handle this because I want no part in how your child becomes more fucked up as a result of this meeting." It was so demoralizing. You get close to these kids to a certain extent, and after the first round of meetings I walked in to that class and just felt this aching sympathy. I wanted to hug them, even the little shitbags (of which I don't have many). Poor things. They have NO time at all to do anything except daydream and hope that their lives will be worthy of their parents' pride now and in the future.

Two of my students have been withdrawn from the school... so I'm losing two good students, and another two won't start up TB 4B (the next level). It really makes me sad, and angry because their parents have made this choice against my strong recommendations and realities of their kids' knowledge of English. I feel like they're being taken away from me. Susan, Kevor, Fanny, Bright... christ. Half the parents wanted their kids to re-sit TB 4A, and I wanted to hit them. It was really frustrating, and one of my lowest points in school as a teacher. Thankfully, I more or less walked into my low-ability TB 2Bs afterwards, and their silly enthusiasm and guileless enjoyment made me smile. I really love these kids, and I hate what they have to go through - what their lives are like day-to-day. Though Lucy is getting a little much. She slapped my ass. ... and she's 11 (going on 20). Scary. A few classes ago she was asking if I was married, what's my phone number, where do I live... funny, yet not at all.

Otherwise I'm doing alright. I bought a Chinese chess set. The game is fantastic. It's ten times better than Western chess. You can block opponents, some pieces can jump others, there is a 'kingdom', a 'river' and some pieces can operate differently depending where they are. It's freakin' awesome. For instance, a zhou (soldier - pawn) can cross the river (middle of the board) and then start moving sideways. Shi (advisors - bishops) can only move diagonally within the 'kingdom' on your side of the board, the pao (bomb) can attack from anywhere in a straight line so long as it can jump a piece (yours or the enemies) to strike an enemy piece, the ma (knight) can be blocked from moving forward if there is a piece in front of it. The elephant can move in large diagonals (two squares at a go). It's amazing. Lily and Katy are teaching me. Katy whoops my ass, and Lily usually beats Katy. There are men in the parks who play a single game over hours. It's so damn cool.

Chinese checkers is also superior to Western checkers, I think. You don't take any pieces 'out'. You just use them to jump from your start pyramid to the other side of the board (board looks like the star of David). So it's very strategic in terms of limiting your opponents' moves through the middle of the board and maximizing which of your pieces can jump as far as possible on the backs of the other players. Three can play at once. It's great.

Learning those two games on Friday has been the highlight of my week, to be honest, and I got a chance to get to know Lily better. I know Katy quite well, but haven't spoken too much to Lily.

Tai ji quan is going pretty well. I haven't advanced too far because there was a combination of moves that I was having issue with. Though doing them for three hours that one night might have simply mentally exhausted me. It's this defensive set of movements, just repeated with some differences four times, in two directions. Figured it out tonight, and moved a bit farther along. Also adjusted how I approach my other movements, thanks to a good friend of the master's. Not sure if he's a teacher, but he has been mentoring a few of the advanced students, showing them application of tai ji quan as a fighting art. He's quite good. Anyway, I started turning my head more and leaning into some of the moves, which has had a great effect on how how my body shifts and adjusts. Also started moving as though I was fighting multiple others. That helps it all make sense and come together. I had been wondering about this one move where you just bring your fist down into your palm, but you're dragging an opponent forward and snapping something or other, and then brushing him/her aside in the next movement(s), then snapping someone's arm and pushing them back. Etc.

Anyway, that's it for now, I guess. Another work week looms. ... yay.